LMAO!

Okay, this is a bit of a cop-out, cut n' pasting other people's writing, but this joke (emailed to me by the lovely J-poo) made me laugh so hard I almost forgot about my ongoing tiny existential crisis for a minute. Hope it makes you happy too:

How To Come Home Drunk and Still Get a Hot Breakfast

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a
business function.

Cloudy-headed and in pain, he forces himself to open
his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of
aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
Next to the aspirin and water stands a single red
rose!

He sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of
him, all clean and pressed.

Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in
perfect order, spotlessly clean. He takes the
aspirins, cringes as he turns on the bathroom light
and notices a Post-it on the mirror: "Honey, breakfast
is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love
you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is
hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Sheepishly, Jack
asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your
mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway
and almost broke your nose when you ran into the
bedroom door."

"Okay...so, why is everything in such perfect order,
so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table
waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the
bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you
screamed...

...'Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!'".

Broken table - $200
Hot breakfast - $5
Red Rose bud - $3
Two aspirins - $0.25

Saying the right thing, at the right time... PRICELESS